The Flu, Hygge, and Almond Biscotti

We (hubby and I) planned a trip several months ago. Mid-January, we would fly to west and spend time with a special cousin and her husband. Then, we’d hop on another flight and go spend a few days with an aunt, uncle, and their family in another area on the west coast. After a few days with them, we’d fly to Florida and spend time with friends who winter there.

Sounds like a perfect plan for two people who are of “near retirement” age, doesn’t it?

Unfortunately, life has a way of throwing curve balls into the best laid plans of mice and men. Hubby got the flu. Not Influenza A or B, just some generic version with the same, nasty symptoms.

This past Sunday, he developed a headache. By Monday, the fever, chills, and body aches invaded. On Tuesday, we canceled our flight to the west coast. Now, I could wail and gnash my teeth, but what good does that do for my emotional health? Nothing.  So, I am taking each day as it comes.

Enter a “new to me “ concept covered in our Seasonal Affective Disorder discussion during a recent NAMI support group – hygge. (pronounced “hoo-gah”) It’s a concept from Denmark and Norway. The people in these countries adopted this lifestyle to help cope with the long, cold winter with limited daylight hours. I would describe hygge as a conscious effort to surround themselves with the things that make life good. Such as a secure, content mindset focusing on friendship, laughter, plenty of light, a hot cup of coffee or tea, a warm blanket, and rest when tired.

Basically, it’s an awareness to enjoy the moment. I can see a lot of good coming from adopting this mindset year-round.

Since my travel plans dissolved yesterday, I decided to practice the art of hygge. I can’t change the fact that we have to stay home. Nope, can’t. Disappointed? Yes. I decided to foster a sense of well-being for myself. I ate my last treat yesterday, so I decided to bake a batch of almond biscotti. I love to savor a biscotti with my afternoon latte. Most purchased ones use sugar and wheat flour and I try to avoid both. Therefore, I’ve been tweaking a recipe for almond biscotti for several months. I think I’ve almost got it the way I want. First, I substituted almond flour for the wheat flour to lower carbs. I also changed the sugar amount by using 2/3 erythritol (sugar alcohol) and a scant 1/3 white sugar. This lowered the carbs even further. Why do I want to lower the carbs? My body doesn’t process them very well and I battle blood sugar fluctuations. Mostly, it dips too low. I feel so much better since I significantly reduced my intake of carbohydrates.

Back to the almond biscotti. They were like “Mary Poppins” – practically perfect in every way. They just got a little too brown. I think I need to lower the oven temperature for the final bake. (Biscotti requires two sessions in the oven.) I hope one more attempt and then I’ll master it. When I do, I’ll post the recipe on my blog. Stay tuned.

And in the meantime, consider the idea of hygge for yourself. Accept what life throws at you. Find things that make you feel secure and content. Take care of yourself. And count your blessings.

Bye for now.

Advertisement

The Golden Rules for Postpartum Depression

August 16, 2019

Postpartum depression – sometimes refrerred to as “Baby Blues” can affect up to 1 in 5 women. It’s upsetting to the new mom who questions, “Isn’t this supposed to fill me with joy?”

It gets hard to get out of bed. Guilt feelings arrive. Am I a terrible mom? More guilt feelings. Exhaustion. You want to cry all the time. And the negative emotions pile higher and higher.

What can we (family or friends) do to help?

WholeMamas.com asked me to write an article for loved ones who want to support a woman suffering from this. I entitled it, The Golden Rule for Postpartum Depression. It’s my one of my goals – to strive to treat others as I wish to be treated. This article posted on July 25, 2019.

Thanks so much for stopping.

Bye for now,

Virginia

Typical behavior for an adolescent or a reason for concern?

October 12, 2018

It’s Friday of Mental Illness Awareness Week. Several days, I posted reviews on books about mental illness, both nonfiction and fiction.  I find when I read books and talk with people affected by mental illness it broadens my knowledge. I also read online research and listen to webinars and videos. Each time I do, I realize how much I don’t know. I promise myself to keep my education on this important subject in a forward motion.

As I visit with groups, I’m asked often, “How can I tell if it’s typical teenage behavior or mental illness?”

In 2016, the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation published a blog about this subject. In this article, they focused on Bipolar, which is a mood disorder.

The next few paragraphs came from their blog:

Advice on Caring for Children and Adolescents with Bipolar Disorder

Some typical teen behavior—such as unstable moods and risky behavior with drugs or sex—can also be expressions of bipolar disorder. How can a parent tell the difference?

This is one of the toughest problems for parents. The key is the clustering of unstable moods with other symptoms. Let’s use the example of a child who goes snowboarding, jumps off a cliff, and breaks his leg. Is that a manic symptom? Well, does he also have a decreased need for sleep? Is he saying grandiose things like, “I’m the best snowboarder in the world?” Is he staying up late at night and talking faster? Does his behavior stand out, even among his friends?

If parents suspect a problem, they should first talk to the child and say, “Here’s what I’m seeing. Do you think you need to talk to somebody?” The child will probably say no. Then you go a little further and say, “Why do you think you’re more irritable? It must be hard to get through the day with such little sleep.” If you suspect that he or she does have a mood disorder, get an evaluation with a psychiatrist or a psychologist—a diagnostic evaluation that includes a full medical history. Ask for recommendations on next steps— knowing that no one doctor has all the answers.

If there are questions about whether your son or daughter’s behavior is healthy or not, it may be best to just do “watchful waiting” for a while, before insisting on medications or therapy. If your child has expressed any suicidal ideation and depression, get rid of any weapons in the house and make sure alcohol or prescription medication are not easily available.

To learn about the difference in adults and youth, monitoring their moods, should they tell their friends, how to find the right doctor, among other topics, read the rest of the article.

Mental Illness Awareness Week

October 7 – 15, 2018 is National Mental Health Awareness week.

People with serious mental illness die on an average fifteen to thirty years earlier than the those without. What’s the difference for this disparity that’s higher than gender, racial, social economic factors?

October 7 – 15, 2018 is National Mental Health Awareness week. People with serious mental illness die on an average fifteen to thirty years earlier than the those without. What’s the difference for this disparity that’s higher than gender, racial, social economic factors?

One common misconception is that they die earlier because of suicide, overdose or accident due to their mental health condition. However, similar health conditions take their lives, just as with others in their age group. Illnesses such as cancer, heart disease, stroke, pulmonary disease, and diabetes are responsible. Why do those with mental illness die from these at a higher rate? Just like with all medical issues, the answers are not one-size fits all.

• Risky behavior is higher for those with mental illness, such as the use of tobacco products.
• Research continues to explore why those with a serious mental illness have a higher rate of diabetes, strokes, or cardiovascular disease.
• Often those with a serious mental illness receive their general health care from a public mental health service or a psychiatrist as opposed to a primary health care physician.
• Bias from those who provide health services has a couple of segments that change the treatment suggested.

1. What’s the point? Some believe those with a serious mental illness won’t recover, so why bother to treat them.

2. Failure to listen to symptoms by professionals because they attribute the complaints to the mental illness and not as a serious concern. As a result, doctors are less likely to order cardiac catheterization for symptoms associated with a heart attack. They are also less likely to order cancer screening or follow-up treatment than they would for the general population. (National Council for Behavior OcHealth, 7/10/18)

The above statistics make me sad. I’d like to see everyone make it to recovery and live a life similar to others in their age group. I’d like to see this change in my lifetime. If not, in my daughter’s.

Let’s continue to talk about mental illness. Let’s work together to help those who struggle with it. And let’s champion for our loved one to ensure they get the care they need when they need it. Sometimes, we have to act as their voice until they can speak for themselves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each day this week, I hope to post a book review about a book that deals with mental illness. I hope you stop back.

Gratitude – November 8

“God bless you.” I grew up hearing this every time I sneezed. My mom, grandmothers, aunts, uncles – it seems that everyone had this response. Now, I react in the same way – “God bless you.”

So, today, I’m grateful for tissues. Yes, tissues. I grab one to wipe my runny nose, dab my eyes when something touches my heart, or hand to someone who needs it for the same reason. We got through boxes of them each year in our home.

We take them for granted. Before the wide distribution of them, people used cloth made of cotton. The movies illustrated to me a couple uses: women dropped them for the gentlemen to pick up and hand to them, or people offered their personal handkerchief to someone who needed one as a gesture of kindness.

I thought about this the other day. I’m glad for those portable tissue packs most women carry in their purse. I, for one, take comfort in the fact that when I’m offered one, it has not been used already to wipe a brow, or worse yet, a nose.

When someone asks me if they can borrow a tissue, I refuse. “No, you can’t borrow it. I don’t want it back when you’re done. I’ll give you one and you can keep it,” I say as I respond with a smile. It’s falls into the same class as a band-aid. I really don’t want it back after it’s used.

Tissues came about because of a shortage cotton during World War I. Kimberly-Clark developed cellucotton, an absorbent cotton-like material for surgical bandages on the battlefield and in the hospitals.

After the war, they had a surplus and looked for a new use. They marketed the product as a cold-creme remover cloth to Hollywood and Broadway. Soon, women complained that their husbands blew their noses in them.The demand by consumers for something to use on their nose switched it to our current product.

In the early 1920’s, the invention of a cardboard pop-up tissues box, propelled them into what is now a common household necessity for most of us.

I’m grateful for disposable tissues.

The photograph for today? Last spring, as I visited libraries across our state to talk about mental illness and sign my book, I spent time in new communities. I explored the local shops and tried to leave a bit of my pocket-money with them. I found this wooden tissue box in a second-hand furniture/craft store. I bought it as a decorative reminder of my journey across the state, plus I thought it fit my decor and personality.

Happy Wednesday.

And, God bless you.

 

 

 

 

Gratitude – November 6

This month, I challenged myself to look around and find gratitude for things I often overlook. Things I take for granted.

Right now, at 5:35 a.m. on Monday, my kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes. Not an ideal way to begin the week. But since I like to use Sunday as a day of rest, I didn’t want to wash them last night. Neither did either of my family – hubby or nephew (who makes his home with us.)  Worn out from the week, my bed’s invitation ranked higher than the sink’s.

Today, I’m grateful for dirty dishes. Why? Because we had plenty to eat yesterday. We had breakfast, a nice meal after church, and popcorn for our supper (our weekly tradition.) Lunch consisted of baked chicken, (I had salmon,) potatoes, butternut squash, green beans, and ice cream for dessert. The potatoes and squash were from my backyard garden.

I did take time yesterday to freeze the last of the kale from my garden. (For me, this falls into the same category as the sheep in the pit Jesus referred to in the book of Matthew – timing. I couldn’t let it go to waste.) It’s a wonderful feeling to know I can go to my freezer multiple times this winter, pull out a bag of kale, and toss it in a pot of soup.

I went to bed last night with a full and happy tummy.  I know I’ll get what I need to eat today, tomorrow, and more than likely, every day for the rest of my life. And for that, I’m very, very grateful.

What can I do with this? Me, one person?

I can make donations to food kitchens, food pantries, and other organizations that feed those who don’t have the same privilege.

Happy Monday. Live in gratitude.

I think I’ll go wash the dishes.

Gratitude – November 5

Yesterday, as I searched the junk drawer in my kitchen – the place where everything that needs a home lands – I found a slip of paper from a fortune cookie from who knows when..

I smiled. What timing!

On November 1, I took the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) challenge to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November, my first attempt at fiction.

I’ve had the idea rolling around in my head since 2015. I decided the time is now to bring the characters to life.

After only four days I wondered if I could do it? Can I stick with the writing schedule I gave myself? Write 1700 or more words each day?

Discouragement set in.

And then I found a reminder on how to enjoy the process: “Keep your ideas flexible and don’t ignore details.”

This told me: Lighten up; just let the ideas flow. Let my creative side go free, without censor. And don’t forget to add details to keep it interesting, but make sure to stay consistent with facts.  Above all – have fun with it.

All this because of an open drawer, a long-forgotten fortune, and a resolve to stay the course. Simple things that melded into motivation. This reminds me stay alert for signs to guide my way – to watch at all times for these things I call God winks. And for that I’m grateful.

Happy Sunday.

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude – November 4

Shoes.

I put them on each morning. I take them off each night. Sometimes, I change during the day into a different pair. Just for fun, I counted my shoes. I have a two pair of sports shoes – both black; dress shoes –black and brown; sandals – again, black and brown; Mary Jane style flats – black and khaki; and, boots – black, knee boots and snow boots. Me, one person, owns ten pairs of footwear.

Perhaps, many people might think ten pairs is a lot, while some people may think it’s not very many. But it works for me. I have what I need, plus a few extra, and for that, I’m grateful.

For I’ve seen poverty, real poverty, when one pair of shoes for a six-year-old boy was like the golden ticket to him. I remember the day with clarity.

In 2011, I visited an orphanage in Africa. Each child lived within a family type unit. Each unit had a house-mother, actually two women who rotated their live-in role on a two-week basis. The “family” ranged from the youngest toddler or infant to a teen, with all ages in between.

That day, one young man in particular stands out in my memory. As I sat in the immaculate front room on a comfortable couch, his “Mom” asked him if he wanted to show me what he’d just received. His face brightened and he scampered back to the bedroom that he shared with his “brothers.” He returned with a simple box. But, he carried it as if he had the jeweled crown of England on a pillow. He walked up to me, slowly and carefully. He stopped in front of me and held out his treasure for my inspection.

“I got shoes. Now, I can go to school,” he said. The pride in his voice almost brought me to tears.

The box contained one pair of black, dress shoes. 

“He can go to school, now, that he has shoes,” his “Mom” said. She, too, beamed with pride for the young man in her care. 

My view of shoes changed forever.

I’m grateful for my abundance of shoes.

            What fills your heart with gratitude today?

Gratitude – November 3

Yup, I wear glasses. Over the past 55 years, a pair of something similar to the photo has rested on my face. When I look back at old photos, I can tell the style of frames for the time period. I laugh at some of the ones I wore. One especially reminded me of a fly – huge eyes for the rest of my head. But hey, that WAS the style.

I’m grateful to have a pair to wear every day. They are the first thing I grab in the morning, and the last thing I touch at night, if I take them off before I fall asleep.  Many nights I wake up and I still have them on. They’ve become part of me and I can’t imagine life without them. I couldn’t do the things I love to do if I didn’t wear glasses. The world would be a big blur of shapes and colors.

Once I investigated the possibility of contact lenses. At the time, the industry didn’t make a lens suitable to correct my vision issues. The eye doctor used his magic machine to show me  how the world would look to me with contacts. When he finished, he asked my opinion. I replied, “I might be vain, but I’m not stupid,” and laughed. I didn’t think about it again.

I would wager the lens exists now, but I reached the age of bifocals long ago.  And, I’m so used to my life-long “fashion statement,” I can’t imagine life any other way.

I’m grateful to use them to read, type, watch TV or a movie, thread a needle, enjoy a landscape,see a friend in the distance, or many of the countless things I see every day. I’m grateful for my glasses and the gift of vision. I know not everyone in this world gets to see the world the way I do.

Four eyes sounds like a compliment to me. Always has. What makes you smile today?

Gratitude – November 2

When the world around me feels like a hurricane, or when I’m feeling a bit lonely, or just too tired to do one more thing, I know I can find another world and escape. Even if it’s only for an hour or two, I can join someone else in their world and forget my troubles.

When I look at it that way, it does seem bizarre. Leave my own problems only to immerse myself in a different one? The difference is – mine are real, but I can escape into a world created in the imagination of someone else. I can walk to my bookshelf and find a book, and relax.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve loved books. Mom took my brothers and me to the library in a near-by town almost every week. I always checked out a stack of books. I devoured them, often by the light of the lamp beside my bed. In the morning, I didn’t want to get out of bed, so I often skipped breakfast and dashed out the door just in touch to catch the bus. Read. School. Repeat.

Today, I’m grateful for the world of books that have surrounded me since I can remember, and the authors who wrote them. As a young girl, I solved mysteries with Trixie Belden, Nancy Drew, and Encyclopedia Brown. I went to the circus with Toby Tyler, plus I had an eclectic collection of other adventures. As I grew, so did my interests. I found biographies, and autobiographies. I felt inspired by the qualities exhibited through the lives of strong-willed people.

As a young mom, with four small children, I had a little time to read, except stories to the children. Once they all went to school, I carved out time in January and February to “indulge” in my passion. I took a “stay-cation” with my books long before someone coined the phrase.

I’ve had a friendship with books throughout my entire life. Today, I’m grateful to all the authors who’ve accompanied me through the years. Now, I collect books signed by the authors. These books feel extra special. I hope to continue to meet new friends and books as I move forward.  My list of “Want to Read” books grows taller by the day.

What are you grateful for today?

 

 

My first award!

Last year I joined the Catholic Writers Guild after I attended their LIVE conference. This is a professional group of writers, artists, editors, illustrators, and allies whose mission is to build a vibrant Catholic literary culture (taken from their FAQ page.)

Earlier this year I applied for their Seal of Approval. On March 30, an email gave me the wonderful news that my first book, Broken Brain, Fortified Faith received the SOA. Basically this means that my readers  can read it with the understanding that this book will not offend their Catholic faith or annoy the grammar police.

Knowing I have the approval of my fellow Catholic professionals means a lot. I want to thank all the people who helped with my faith formation over the years and the editor who worked with me at Familius,  Lindsay Painter Sandberg.

Let’s continue to talk about mental illness. My journey through the scary world of schizophrenia is similar to almost every family that I’ve met. When we talk about it, we give them permission to share their pain and ask for support. I know I felt alone when I first discovered schizophrenia had invaded our daughter. I found help through the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) , this group of wonderful, supportive people.

I couldn’t write my story without including my faith journey, too. It’s part of who I am and how I made it without complete despair. So let’s continue to talk about that, too.  NAMI has an organization, FaithNet  for all those who wish to keep the two connected: mental illness and faith.

I hope one day those families and individuals who battle mental illness can feel comfortable going to their family, friends, and their church community for the support and prayers they need. I also hope for a culture where we talk about mental illness the same way we discuss cancer or diabetes. For it’s a biological disorder, not a character flaw.

 

 

 

Blog Review from Mary Potter Kenyon

Thank you, MaryPotterKenyon for your wonderful review of Broken Brain, Fortified Faith: Lessons of Hope Through a Child’s Mental Illness. Your words made my day. Our journey through schizophrenia was probably the hardest path I’ve ever had to take. But out of that period in my life came a resolve to reach out to other families who face a similar road. I like to bring hope that recovery is possible. Mental illness can be a life-long journey, but those affected can resume a lifestyle similar to others around them. It takes a tremendous amount of support, love, and dedication by the individual and those around them. I found help through NAMI, a wonderful organization providing support, education, and advocacy for mental illness.

I read with eagerness the latest news from Brain & Behavior Research Foundation, where money is distributed with grants to scientists who study the brain to unlock the mysteries of mental illness.

It’s also left my heart in a different state. I’ve become more compassionate, more mindful of the words I use, more deliberate in the actions I use on a daily basis. I practice the art of finding something each day to make me smile and try to bring the same facial exercise to those around me. Whether it be the person who checks me out at the store, a server at a restaurant, or any numerous places I encounter people, I try to bring joy.

Let’s work together to bring hope, healing, and faith to those around us. For I believe with all my heart, people who suffer from mental illness have a brain disorder – not a character flaw. They didn’t choose this for themselves. Science shows us again, and again the biological reasons for the illness. Let’s treat it as such.

 

RAISE awareness about R.A.I.S.E.

July 2015

RAISE Awareness about R.A.I.S.E. What does that mean?

In April 2015, I watched a webinar conducted by the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation that released the findings for a study called R.A.I.S.E. (Recovery After an Initial Schizophrenia Episode). The research project originated from NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health).

After watching it, I felt empowered. I felt validated. I felt humbled. As I listened, I heard the doctors and scientists discuss what I call the village approach geared for persons enduring a  first episode psychosis. (FEP) The goal: recovery.

First, R.A.I.S.E. involved a team that met on a regular basis. The team consisted of specialists who work with the patient on a personalized plan for treatment. The study called it Coordinated Specialty Care. (CSC). The specialists offered psychotherapy, medication management,  tailored to the patient, education and support for the family, case management, and work or education support for the individual. Shared decisions were made between the team, the individual and family members, when possible.        Another goal of the study was to work with the team as soon as possible after the psychotic symptoms appeared. SEE (Supported Employment/Education) was encouraged for the individual to work towards recovery.

Why my feelings of empowerment, validation, humility?

The study used a model that appeared somewhat similar to our approach with our daughter Amber after doctors diagnosed her with schizophrenia. She had exhibited many of the symptoms: delusions, hallucinations, distorted thinking, difficulty finishing a task, trouble focusing, and reduced speaking. This was not how our twenty-four-year-old daughter acted in the past. We sought help as we did the following:

1. We had her in treatment almost immediately.
2. We found the NAMI organization just in time to enroll in a class immediately and began our education.
3. Although all those involved in helping her move into recovery didn’t meet as a team, our family kept the communication between the therapist and the doctor up-to-date. I kept a diary of Amber’s daily emotions and faxed it to them prior to her appointments, usually 24 hours in advance. At times I advised her therapist of changes in her medications.
4. Amber became part of the process. She wanted to recover. We worked at home daily with games that exercised her brain. Word games, number games, card games – anything that I thought would engage her broken brain and encourage healing.
5. We contacted our local Vocational Rehab office and Amber trained for a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) and then later studied nursing. She found part-time employment when she felt able to handle the work.

As I watched the webinar presented by the Brain and Behavior Research Foundation in 2015, I realized we had used many of the same components implemented by the R.A.I.S.E. study which began in 2009.

But why, the feelings?

Amber received her diagnosis in January 2005, four years before the study began. By 2009, after four years of working toward recovery, she had moved out of our home. In 2009, she had a job, she shared an apartment with friends and led an active social life. We still helped her manage her finances, but she had almost reached full independence.

Now, eleven years later she continues to live in recovery.  She continues to work full-time, manages all her own affairs/finances and leads a similar life to others her age. Her social calendar seems to burst at the seams. She also manages her medications and her appointments. She understands her illness and her need to take care of her health.

When I listened to the study, I felt validated, I felt empowered, I felt humbled. We had approached her schizophrenia in the correct manner. And I thank God that we did. I’m grateful I was given the graces I needed to guide her on her road to recovery.

I live in hope that one day all those affected with schizophrenia, or any of the mental illnesses,  will experience a similar outcome. Until then, let’s reach out to those hurting, and to their families, with all the compassion and understanding we can muster.

RAISE Study

NIMH

NAMI

Find our story at Amazon or Barnes and Noble

 

Welcome to Virginia Pillars’ blog.

Welcome to the thoughts and musings of Virginia Pillars. My goal for this site is to share with you, my readers, my journey through an extremely difficult time in my life. And like most experiences in life, it changed me. But for today, I want to share my incredible, and exciting news.

My book, Broken Brain, Fortified Faith: Lessons of Hope through a Child’s Mental Illness is complete. The release date is September 6, 2016, although at this writing I know Amazon began shipping copies last week.

You may be asking, what’s the book about?

It’s about my journey into the world of mental illness with my daughter. In 2004, her brain broke and I didn’t know what happened or how to deal with it. The book is my story, how I coped, what I felt, and what happened to our family as we learned of her diagnosis, schizophrenia and entered her world, so much different what we perceived it to be. We had to learn about mental illness, about her specific brain disorder, medications, therapies, and all the things that accompany schizophrenia.

But how did my story get to this stage? How did I go from a confused, and sometimes angry mother to a published book?  I have been given a gift, a wondrous, incredible, unexpected gift. I’m excited to share this with my followers, as well.

Thank you for visiting. Please check back again.

Virginia